The PC gamer returns

I have a gaming PC now. After a two year break, I am a PC gamer again.

You might wonder what the specifications of my PC are! I shall tell you:

  • Quad core CPU
  • 6GB RAM
  • Graphics Card
  • 22 holes for wires at the back
  • It’s black
  • Case is missing one side and rattles when you move it

But there is a problem with my PC. The problem is that it has no sound. Recently I tried to fix the sound. I spent 52 hours trying to fix it, entering a kind of trance where I forgot to sleep, eat or drink anything. At 10am yesterday I decided to celebrate not fixing the sound by going out and buying a six-pack of beer. Footage of my arrival at the shop is already circulating the internet.

Did I mention the wireless on my PC is also broke? My solution was to buy 20 metres of ethernet cabling which now run from my room to the downstairs modem like some kind of enormous parasite grown fat on communications. I have told my roommates this monster is ‘temporary.’ I am not upset about the wireless being broke, because I read on a forum that my motherboard’s wireless might be what’s breaking the sound.

I know I am a PC gamer again because I have played a game on my PC! Turns out Minesweeper is an excellent game to play when you don’t have any sound, and I won (ha!).

Anyway, my 360 is arriving soon. If I do not have the PC fixed by then I’m going to put on a shoe, kick out the innards of my PC, take off the shoe, place the 360 inside the case, connect the 360 to my monitor, turn on the 360, play a game, turn off the 360, then set fire to my shoe, the case, my girlfriend and myself, in that order.

It sure is good to be back!



  1. Dude, you totally need to plug in speakers. They’re what makes the sound.

    • If I had sound right now I promise I would find and send you that System Shock 2 midwife bark of “I’ll tear out your spiiine.”

  2. I think you had something with the parasite idea.
    You need to plug the soundcard cables into your roommate’s brain. Then he’ll be able to act as the speakers.
    Welcome back!

  3. First you go on about how great Valkyria Chronicles’ plot was, and now you’re linking to

    What next, Quinns? A Halo walkthrough? Madden tips?

  4. Welcome back to the fold.

    I don’t know if you’ve written anything about it earlier (when leaving the fold, maybe?), but other than a shoe burning fetish, are there any other insights regarding the difference between PC and 360 gaming?

    As a recent convert to the religion of 360 gaming (well, more like a church guest, really), I’ve been struck by the differences in gaming.

    – saves (PC)
    – standardization (360)
    – prettiness (PC)
    – everything-fucking-works-ism (360)
    – controls (I actually said in my review of your hated Fable 2 that the spell casting controls are *surely* much better than those on the console. Imagine my surprise when it was pointed out to me it’s an exclusive title…)

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